Re: checking after the river...
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As far as I know, the player to the left of the dealer shows first. The next player can then choose to show or not.
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Each live game can have its own rules but generally as stated here. Except the standard rule would be that whilst the next player can muck if beat, the winner can normally insist on seeing the cards. However, it is generally accepted that it is bad form to do so.
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