[katyseagull]

Ok so I've read eviljeff's story and Coffee's. Whoa. Now I'm all weirded out. All 3 of us have death on our mind. [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] What does THAT mean?

(Wonder what Zutroy has written about. If his is about death too I am going to laugh.)


Wow I can't believe no one has commented on these stories yet. I'm very excited because I liked both of them (I'm so sorry, haven't read yours yet, Zutroy, but I promise I will!)



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I'm curious to know what you guys think of the two very different styles of eviljeff and Coffee.


<u>Coffee-</u>
For me, Coffee's style is great. Very relaxing to settle into and well written. In fact he writes the way I love to hear people talk - meandering, each paragraph open to different avenues. You get the feeling that had he not chosen the avenue he did there were numerous other avenues he could have taken. With Coffee I feel as though I want him to keep going...tell me more about that town, our hero's past, a historic event. I'm the kind of person who always wants to hear the details of other places so I guess this kind of piece is up my ally. Just like in the last contest, I want to know what happens in the next chapter. I think this is an interesting trait of Coffee's, that he leaves me wanting more. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

I like the way you describe Texas, Coffee. This part made me chuckle

For some reason, the Allen brothers elected to found their city in a maze of bayous and marsh, and we’ve been fighting the mosquitoes ever since. Four million people reside in the Houston area, and to be honest, I’m not sure why.

I lived in Houston one summer. The thing I remember the most is the humidity. I had to walk to work and boy was it hot!


I like the ending of this story. It is a good question - What if when we die we don't go anywhere?

Anyway, thanks for participating again. I'm looking forward to your next one!



<u>Eviljeff -</u>
With eviljeff I was amazed at how he quickly paints this picture of such a smart guy who seems to be so incredibly lonely. It is heart-breaking. In fact I'm still very depressed by it. What I like is how he does all this in a very short amount of time and I feel concerned for his hero because the descriptions are really powerful. This sentence makes me want to cry

Andrew had spent the night lying on a damp park bench creating constellations in his tuxedo.

But why the bottles? Was he just trying to create the illusion that he had drunk the beer? Gah, forgive me, I'm just really slow tonight. Awfully tired. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]



I liked this part
Andrew calmly spilled his knowledge onto the exam sheets, humming like a baker pouring batter into a pan. With time to spare, he presented his symphony to the unimpressed wooden box. Another 'A' would fit neatly into his collection at the registrar's office. Reduced to four lines of archaic transcript font, this semester would be indistinguishable from any other.

Normally I do not like adjectives but this style of yours I'm finding pretty cool. Very interesting technique, Jeff, and I have to say I totally dug it. Thanks for being the first to go!


Now I must read the next story and then collapse into bed. Anyone else? Are you guys reading these stories?