[govman6767]

Alcoholic - Somone who only goes to the casino to drink as much cheap hootch as possible for as little as possible

Tourist- Somone who only goes to a casino once or twice a year and is only looking for fun.

#1 Slots Truly an alcoholics dream the new penny slots such as star wars are a dream come true for our tourists and alcie's looking for a good time. Just spinning the wheels at 1 cent per spin can be fun and the cocktail waitresses always come a plenty to the slot players.

I would suggest 1 cent video slots because you'll get more service than an antiquated 3 reel penny slot (think gold spike) There is no better bet in a casino than playing 1 coin per pull penny slot and taking all the free hootch you can get.

You can smoke and drink and if you have a group it's even more fun. Tourists can play a bit more coins in the hope of hitting a jackpot and getting drunk [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

#2 Let it Ride While paying 5 bucks a hand can get expensive it's the min bet in most casino table games. The bonus here is the speed of play. LIR is just a sloooow game. People deciding whether to pull back a bet and the dealing etc etc. Since it takes so long to deal and payout etc etc your ability to get a ton of drinks before going through your budget is +EV [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Alcie's will like the slow play and Tourists will love the chance they could hit a HUGE payoff if they get real lucky.
Truly a govman game.

# 3 Pai gow Poker The reason this is not # 1 or # 2 is because the tourist cannot hit it big here unless he chooses a table with the fortune payout. But a table with the fortune payout might make this # 1 on the list.

This game pushes more than a woman giving birth making it an alcoholics dream. Booze booze booze for free all while you keep pushing pushing pushing.

Like I said tourists get more out of this game if they are playing with friends and their is a fortune bonus. The entertainment value of this game goes down if you only speak english and you dont' know anyone at the table.

#4 Carribian stud Game deals pretty slow and if you do more folding then betting hoping the dealer does not qualify when you have junk you can make your bankroll last longer than most games. Less hands are dealt per hour and these tables are always in a drink lane.

Tourists will like this game because of the huge jackpot that you can hit for a buck. Another govman gambool game.

5# 4 card poker, 3 card poker, table holdem, boston 5 , etc etc 3 card poker plays a bit faster than most games but you only have to put up a bonus bet which means you can catch a nice payoff for the tourist and as usual all table games are heaven for an alcoholic.

Craps If you stick to the pass line or don't pass line decisions should not be made super fast so you can stand there all day drinking hootch on the casino's buck.

But you have to be willing to just place one bet at a time to maximize your drinking potential.

For tourists I would suggest hardway bets as they can stay up there as long as a pass line bet and you have a chance to win a few bucks which is exciting for the tourist.

Keno Dude you get a couch for 2 bucks a game you can sit in a couch and drink all the free booze you want govman LOVES the couches at the keno lounges. Games are played every 2 min so you get some time to drink in between games. Tourists will love it because they can win life changing money...... Alcie's LOVE keno.

Sportsbook Couches + games last 2 hours or more HEAVEN you just have to watch out for sportsbooks that cheap out of giving you booze while watching the game make sure you tape your betting stub to your chest for all the waitresses to see.

Games that almost made it

Big money Wheel Sometimes it seems like the wheel spins forever and you usually only have to bet a buck or two. There are some high payoff spots making the tourist happy but the drinks come a bit slower and you have to stand up which is vastly -EV

blackjack, spanish 21, double exposure blackjack

Ok you get to sit down, table games get drinks fast and you can make some bonus bets making the tourist happy so why does this not make the list?????

Hands are dealt too fast while the house edge is smaller in blackjack you play a lot more hands an hour and if you catch a bad run you'll be out of money before you hit it big or get drunk.

Games that suck for tourists and alcies

#1 any slot over 5 cents.

Will eat up your bankroll so fast you won't be able to get drunk fast enough to offset your losses. You would have to force feed me a bottle of everclear to get me to put 5 bucks in a 5 dollar slot.

#2 Baccarat WTF especially mini baccarat. The hands get dealt out so damn fast you don't have time to drink a beer. I heard casinos put the ATM's next to the baccarat tables so you can reload faster. The house advantage is real small but you play so many hands you'll get brushburns on arms from putting up and taking down bets.

Tourists will hate this game because their is no bonus and they don't like playing games where you get a pen and paper and have to track bets.

Sic Bo Tourists will love Sic Bo because of the 145 to 1 payouts but it does not count because I've never seen a drink lady near a sic bo table EVER.

CASINO WAR Like cousin eddie says in Vegas Vacation "That was fast Clark". The drinks will come but not before you lose all your money. Stay away from the fastest of casino games.


This post is not about getting comps.... This post is not about playing +EV games or lowering the EV of - EV games.

This post is not about snowball ruining everyone's fun at a casino.

This post is to help you extract the maximum alcohol from a casino with the least risk to your bankroll. And also gives tourists an idea of what bonus games are out there for certain tables and how to hit the big ones (ODDS ARE YOU WILL NEVER HIT ONE OF THOSE BIG JACKPOTS but getting drunk and trying will be the most fun you ever had in a casino.)