[thisnamedoesntfi]

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you sound like my fiance's brother. He is a "+3" handicap or whatever & was the top ranked junior golfer in the country.

he plays to his handicap during casual rounds, but seriously has trouble breaking 80 in competitive rounds. it is kind of depressing.

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Maybe your Fiances' brother is playing for other people, putting pressure on himself based on the expectations others have of him.

OP, you need to keep the game simple from the sounds of it.You should try playing a few rounds where you see par as the best possible score. You don't need to make a birdie, just try and make an easy par. This will take a surprisingly high amount of pressure off your game. Try it!