[El Diablo]

LFS,

Deal with irrationality for four weeks. Highly emotional situations, especially involving loved ones, often are very counter to rational analysis.

Sometimes that matters to a degree, like when people make very bad financial decisions based on this type of irrational reaction that will have long-lasting negative consequences. In that case, it makes perfect sense "to try and bring them back to rationality."

In this case, though, it doesn't sound like anything like that is going on. It's just that you see your wife not really processing the information in a rational way and you want to make her understand what you see as very obvious facts regarding the situation. But what she's doing may definitely be part of her coping mechanism in this troubling time for her. Trying to make her think of things in a different way is unlikely to help the situation much, and could definitely hurt it. So, stop trying to change the way she reacts emotionally. For the next few weeks, just listen and agree w/ her and follow her lead. If something is getting out of control, take action. But otherwise, just listen and agree and do what she wants you to do.