[cassette]

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I used to drink a lot.... I mean a LOT.

In 1994 I lived in Phoenix Az and was in the USAF. I had a nearly brand new CBR600F2. But I had let a friend borrow it and borrowed a brand new CBR600F3 from my roomy.

Anyway so I headed to an awesome bar that's probably still open called Pollock Joe's (near Olive and 43rd I think).

I had a gf that lived in some apts right behind the bar. So I figured I could just ride the bike to her place after I got drunk.

So I had my 15+ beers and started to just nurse one. Then my GF and one of her friends who was real hot came in. We started doing shots of Goldschlauger. After about my 3rd or 4th one hotty asks me if that was my helmet and if so would I take her for a ride.

Well heck yes I'll take you for a ride.

So we go around this corner, I straighten out and hit the gas a lil too hard. She must not have been holding on too good because she flew off the back! I was so drunk it didn't occur to me to turn around and go pick her up so I just kept on going.

So I get back to my GF apts and forgot the gate code. I called and called but she was passed out. I jump the wrought iron fence and rip the heck out of my brand new Gerbaud jeans (take it easy on me it was the early 90's). I get up to her apt and pound on the door until she finally lets me in.

Next thing I know my GF is shaking the shiat out of me asking "what happened to hotty? What happened to hotty?". I was like "huh?". She said hotty's brother was on the phone with her. Bro told her that hotty got arrested for public drunkenness.

Then it hit me "I forgot to go back outside the gate to get the motorcycle!!!!"

Cliff notes - I got drunk, girl falls off motorcycle and I forgot to get her, she gets arrested, her brother is probably still after me, I rip my jeans, motorcycle gets stolen and I have to pay 20% deductible, I lose GF.

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Yeah, also, you're pretty much a horrible waste of skin.

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That's interesting. I think you would be the only person to have ever met me say something like that.

I was telling the absolute honest truth. The girl fell off my bike and I was so drunk I FORGOT to pick her up. It wasn't like I said "screw her". I literally forgot. But go ahead thinking that way. Who knows maybe you're right.

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The fact that you think forgetting to pick the girl up is the only horrible part of this story further reinforces the fact that you are a POS.