[Fishwhenican]

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I kind of was too. I could see her saying, can I talk to you on my break, I'm at work now. But it's hard to apologize, and even if you don't quite believe it, if the apology seems sincere, it can be a good idea to respect the attempt. I don't think you have to totally forgive someone to accept their apology.

I could see myself saying "f*ck off" at first, then a week later going, "You know what, I was still pretty pissed when you came to apologize last week. It's not easy to turn around your feelings overnight. So I pushed you away because I just didn't want to hear from you. I'm still not feeling great about what happened. But I realize everyone can make a mistake, and that it takes guts to try to apologize for one. So I respect that you tried. A lot of people wouldn't have had the guts to try. And I accept your apology. Why don't we just start over and give each other a fair chance, okay?"

I've done pretty much that a time or two. Seems to go over okay, and only the truly meanest SOB's would like to hold a grudge forever. That the dude tried to apologize already shows that he's not one of those. So maybe when your wife's emotions settle down a bit, she can treat the matter as not yet settled and talk to the guy again when she sees him next.

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I actually talked to her quite a bit about this very thing last night. Personally I do not think it makes anything better by not being able to accept an apology. She did say that if he had come to her in the bar she would have talked to him and now would likely tell him that what he did was way out of line and hurtful but eventually accept the apology. Her day job was not the place to be doing all of this.

I also understand how she can not want to accept this guys apology. This guy may mean what he says, he may not. I would not be out of the question for his family to have told him he would be doing that apology and he had no intention of doing it on his own. From what I have heard about him since this incident and what I already know of his family (they are pretty good people) I suspect they actually put him up to it.