[grando]

So I lied – there will be 3 more trip reports. 2 for Thursday and 1 for Friday. These things are [censored] long! I'll end this somewhat mediocre one just before the Blue Man Group, and write the later, significantly more eventful one tomorrow.

So this is Thursday – we're in definitely no hurry to do anything, but have something at 7:30. So what better way for a guy and a girl to start it off than with heterosexual sex? I agree – and so did the g/f. Solid 8/10 – I should have went to the washroom first though. I know better. However, I am smart enough to leave a towel near the bed! I then think of who's used the bed before us, and whether they got a towel. I am also smart enough to stop thinking about it right then, and go into the shower.

I get out and brush my teeth, and get ready to open another bottle of the hotel mouthwash. “Can't go wrong with Listerine” I say aloud, juggling 3 of the 16 housekeeping brought in a big bag the day previous. “What the [censored]....” as I notice one of the bottles has something weird about it. “...this isn't Listerine – it's ListerMINT!” [censored] YOU BALLY'S LISTERMINT? NO ALCOHOL? (no wonder I'm not drunk yet). I'm not very pleased. I then look at the TV to see whether it's a Panaphonic or Sorny. Displeased again. I watch some of that black sitcom with the school principal who's kind of a loser who tries to get the hot vice-principal or something. It sucks. Time to go.

We're planning to eat just after 5, and being nearly 3 already we don't have much time. Not much time?!? You know what that means!!! TURBOGAMBLING! And the only way you TURBOGAMBLE is to play more than 1 hand at once! BLACKJACK SWITCH OMG! Casino Royale here I come! So we walk into the door, and see margaritas on for A DOLLAR!! If I know drinking, which I do, these dollar margaritas will be full of alcohol. I tell the g/f that I can get a way better drink at the table when I'm playing, for FREE! Apparently girls think paying $ > free, but don't tip any extra. I chalk it up to stubbornness. She buys 2. I think a Slurpee has more alcohol than this bad-boy. Oh well it's tasty. Time for $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!

Blackjack switch is a sweet game; I wonder why more strip casinos don't spread it. That's all I'd play (until I found a way cooler game later on in the trip!!!). Anyways, the actual gambling of $10/hand (2x10) was quite uneventful, and I was up 10 bucks after an hour or so. It's times like this where I wished I'd have my gamb000ling friends to get drunk with and prop bet against. My g/f didn't even gamble (other than poker). This definitely isn't going to work out in the long term. I contemplate playing a little video poker, but she won't even play that. Wow this is fun. I Vegas gamb000ling by myself.

So for supper we go to the Bellagio buffet. I think it's like 27 bucks or something. We get seated and I order an MGD and the g/f orders Kokanee. Me: “Um I don't think they'll have Kokanee (a Canadian beer) here”. G/f: “Sure they will”. Server: “What's Kokanee?” Me: “Order a Coors”. G/f: “Can I get a Canadian?” Server: “Sorry”. G/f: “Ok I'll get a Coors Light”. Stubborn.

So we get up to the buffet and it's amazing! Like nothing I've ever seen before! I get my plate and go searching....whoa they have like 15 chefs standing behind each row of food. This pork tenderloin looks good, oh and this curried beef. Yeah let's throw on some sliced buffalo. Hmmmm rice – I dunno. No. This satay beef looks good too! WTF FRIED CHICKEN? Is Tiger gonna be here? [/fuzzy zoeller]. One of these things is not like the others. So I end up getting about 12 varieties of meat and go back to the table. I start eating/drinking before the g/f gets back. Nothing tastes better than meal booze.

So this food is pretty good – then the g/f mentions that there's A WHOLE OTHER SIDE?!?! WOWOOWWOW MORE MEAT! I don't believe her, but don't say it aloud. After I go I can always say “no you were wrong I went everywhere already”, making myself feel big and smart. So I leave my plate there and put the fork/knife on my napkin. I then see that they have 2 of each set before you even eat! Clean utensils for your second plate – I bet if God ate at a buffet it'd be this one. And there wouldn't be rice.

So I look and there's a totally extra side with totally different items! Jackpot! So I eat another 2 pounds of various animals, add a little pasta for colour, and get ready for dessert. Hmmmm apple pie, cheesecake, and some mystery pie. All 3 were decent, but not great. I give the meal a 7/10 in total. The g/f gave it a 9. She tends to give things 9s when they're only 7s. I hear the Rio's buffet is even better. Someone please inform me on this. We pay and tip and leave. She forgets her purse, but we are chased down by a waitress. It works out great.

We get to the Venetian, and smell the stupid air freshener. God is it disgusting. I bet Helen Keller likes it though. We have about ½ hour to kill, so we wander the casino floor. Right when I get in I have an urge to play SUPA FUN WHEEL! I have no [censored] clue what it is. I don't think it even exists in the real gaming world. I just heard about it somewhere, and it sounded awesome at the time! Just the name makes you wanna play. It's SUPA FUN!!!

Anyways we get to a casino war table. I don't know about this – it doesn't require the skill of blackjack, the ESP of roulette, or the ability to switch of BLACKJACK SWITCH. Come on, War? You don't even get to fight the casino. Oh well – I get ready to sit down and play. I am apprehensive because I didn't check the wizardofodds website for the optimal strategy. It seems kinda complicated. I finally get my chips, but then my g/f gets ID'd for the 5th time this trip. She fumbles around and can't find her ID?!? YOU ALREADY GOT KICKED OUT OF 2 CASINOS BRING YOUR [censored] ID HOW HARD IS IT?!? So we have to leave, and she is extremely embarrassed. I don't care, cause I wanted to play!

So we keep walking around, even though she's not allowed to, and 5 minutes later she finds her ID. Good work. I don't really feel like going back now, cause I'm a little pissed off that she's such an idiot. But she wants to go back and prove that she's of regular age. What the hell does that do? No one cares, especially me. But she goes back and shows them her ID. Stupid attention wheure. I am disappointed that I didn't play some casino war, but still more mad that my g/f is an idiot. Oh well.

Tomorrow I will start with the Blue Man Group and work from there – sorry for the abrupt ending.