[Etaipo]

first, my two favorite dead baby jokes.

Q. What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies?

A. I don't have a BMW in my garage.


Q. What tastes better than a dead baby?

A. Nothing (it's all in the creepy delivery on this one)

And now a better version of an earlier joke.


While high over the middle of the ocean, an airliner suddenly loses an engine.

The captain gets on the intercom.

"Folks, this is the captain speaking. We just lost one of our right engines. Don't worry, this plane has 3 more engines, and we should still be arriving on time. Settle in, get a drink, eat some delicious peanuts, and enjoy your flight."

Comforted, the passengers relax. Half an hour later, another engine putters to a stop, this time on the left. Once again, the captain gets on the horn.

"Uhh...folks, this is your captain speaking again. It seems that we have had another engine give up on us. We still have two engines left, and those should get us back to land. Please, try to remain calm, and stay in your seats, and I'll get us home."

The passengers nervously chatter, but after 30 minutes or so, they all start to relax again.

Suddenly, an explosion from the remaining right engine, the plane bucks wildly, and there's a sharp drop in altitude as the passengers panic.

The pilot and co-pilot struggle with the plane, finally getting it to right itself, and descending at a slower rate. Desperate, they open the hatches and dump the luggage. This slows the descent further, but the plane is still dropping slowly out of the sky.

The crew confers, and the pilot gets back on the intercom, explains the situation to the passengers, and organizes the cabin crew to open the hatch, and toss anything that is loose out of the plane.

A few minutes later, the task is done, but the plane is still dropping!

Broken, the pilot picks up the intercom mic one final time.

"Folks...things are not looking good. We've tossed all that we can, and the plane is still falling ever so slowly. At this rate, we won't make it to land.

I need to ask for three volunteers. Three brave souls who will give their lives to save the rest. Please...there isn't much time...but if you make this sacrifice....we think we can make it to safety."


Stunned, the passengers look around in disbelief. But not a moment passes before a British gentleman unbuckles, stands, and walks briskly to the open hatch.

He takes a quick look outside, then a quick look around the cabin.

"God save the queen!", and out he jumps, to his doom.

Other than the rush of wind and the lone engine, it is completely silent.

A moment later, and a French man stands. He shuffles down to the door, and looks outside, and then at the passengers.

"Viva la France!", and out he jumps.


"Aww hell!" is heard from the back of the plane. Up stands a Texan, big feller, and moseys down the aisle towards the hatch. He's decked out, 10 gallon hat, boots, huge belt buckle, the whole nine yards.

He reaches the open hatch, looks outside and spits a mouthful of chew juice out. He looks around the cabin, and..........

Grabs the nearest Mexican, throws him out the hatch, and yells "REMEMBER THE ALAMO!!!!!"