[Black Aces 518]

Wow. I read this thread after reading poincaraux's news in the Post if Your Wife is Pregnant thread. I had seen the "in loving memory - Allan Frederick Lerner" on that thread, but had never read the backstory.

In some ways, I'm so glad I did, and in some ways I wish I never had. This is the most excruciating thing I have ever read. I had to stop at least 4 times, and just cry. The description of the discovery, rocking Allan for his only time, the birth, his one outfit, dressing and cleaning and holding him and telling him all the things that should have been. I admire so deeply your strength to do those things and be strong and keep fighting. I have a 4 month old daughter, and reading this and imagining her is the most awful thing I can picture. I wish you the absolute best with everything.