[adanthar]

The good news is that wasn't the last one. The bad news is that they were all out of apple pie

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Two part story...

My parents divorced when I was about 10-11. My dad got married a year or two afterwards, but my parents remained on good terms. The divorce was done without any legal custody battle and with no hassles. My parents just figured it was for the best. One day, when I'm like 13, my dad comes over to our apartment. He's dropping by to give me a stick of RAM or something. Anyway, he stays for coffee, all three of us talk and stuff. I have no idea how this next part happened, but it did. My dad and mom are both in the bathroom (which is tiny, we lived in a 2 1/2). I'm in the room that the bathroom door is. I'm playing guitar at the computer, and I hear something. Goes like, 'uh, uh, uh.' They're being really quiet, but I still can't [censored] believe it. I hear someone humping up against the bathroom door. Yeah, my parents are having sex in the bathroom next to me. I leave the house and go outside, I'm in disbelief.

Part two.

I don't speak to either of my parents about the incident, I don't even mention why I went out, neither does my mother (I come home at like 11pm, fairly early, even for a 13 year old). About a week later, my mom is asleep in the other room, and I'm horny as hell. But the internet is out. So I'm trying to figure out what the hell to do (back then, wanking wasn't good enough for me). So I find that the spot between the two couch pillows is quite tight and comfortable. I start pumping my couch, and just as I'm about to blow my load when I hear my mom about to open the door. I pull a cover over myself but she catches sight of my buttcheecks and looks at me weird.

So I say, 'What? I should've done it in the bathroom, right?'

She looks at me, grabs her coat, and comes back at 11pm. We've never spoken about it since.

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