[luckyjimm]

Just posted this to my blog. Oh noes BBV!!!

Friday, 30 November 2007

Losing today's rent money was not a good idea. By breakfast without going higher than $1/$2 I'd lost £400 I could just about afford to lose, through bad play and beats. Having phoned the landlord yesterday for his bank details, I tried to transfer him the £450, only for the online banking website to say because of a new security measure I first needed a pin service card, which they would send me in the post.

I foolishly made a small deposit, in the knowledge that I have an £88 withdrawal coming through tomorrow. When I lost that, I deposited again, telling myself I would win, withdraw, and pay my rent a few days late on Tuesday, telling the landlord about the pin card as my excuse. Although what would have stopped me from depositing the money again on Tuesday, I don't know. I kept on depositing and losing.

Finally, I have lost £815. Looking at PokerTracker, I lost on 14 of the 15 tables on which I played, and "won" $26.97 on the other one. I did not cash out even once - paralysed by the thought of how much I had already lost, I forgot that I would best recover my losses by withdrawing incrementally, not in one go. I have just £40 in the bank which I need to live on. My rent, which I said I'd pay today, is £450. Five minutes ago I had $550 on a $2/$4 table but it's now gone.

I ordered a replacement credit card recently for one with a £400 limit. The pin came today, forwarded by my mother. The card should come early next week, so I may potentially be able to use that.

This is the biggest disaster since the last big disaster! And so utterly unnecessary. So in my first few weeks back in London I've lost all my money, broken my bike, on which I'm utterly dependent, and failed to go swimming more than once.

Oh, and I started smoking again.