[VoraciousReader]

It's not his fault that he buys into the hype, misinformation and outright brainwashing of the diamond industry in this country.

Diamonds are a religion in this country. Ruling out a woman as materialistic because she wants one is unfair. Yes, you're going to avoid some money-grubbing golddiggers, but mostly you're going to eliminate perfectly nice women that just haven't ever questioned their expectations, because they are so deeply programmed.

Frankly, most men are the same. In fact, I know several husbands who were MUCH more concerned about the ring than their brides were. Speaking as a woman, try telling the man in your life that what you'd REALLY PREFER for your engagement ring to be a gorgeous blue topaz or green quartz (which means a huge stone set in white gold will run you about 200 dollars). Most guys protest and say that you SHOULD have a diamond, you DESERVE a diamond and they certainly don't want anyone to think that they CAN'T BUY you a diamond.

I think it's absurd that we essentially tell people in this country: "Fantastic, you're a lovely young couple going out to build a life together that will (we hope) include home ownership, children, grandchildren, and a comfy retirement...and the Very First Thing you should do is go thousands of dollars in debt for a not-very-rare gemstone. Happy Engagement!" But we do, and criticizing women as money-grubbing because they expect it is not fair.