[bellytimber]

Homer, everyone, question:

I don't know how it came to this. I was wrong on the first eight games of the season, bad start. Then I got seven of the next eight right, good hustle.

But then I missed 11 in a row. Now I've missed 19 of my last 22. Everything I touch turns to gold, which then immediately bursts into fire and melts through my hands and into my lap, scalding my fingers and my sensitive crotchal area.

So I'm down to my last $400. Now...how does this pool work? That's my question. Can I just make one $400 bet? Can I make one $200 bet and two $100 bets? Can I make an $89,000 bet? I'm good for it.

Can I borrow money from Lori to make a bet? And can I announce that I'm going to be plagiarizing her picks from now on? If I announce this--and then if she is killed the next day by a meteor or comet or high cholesterol--could I be found liable?

If I go bust in week eleven, does David Sklansky get the right of prima nocte? Or--because this is an internet pool using aliases and avatars and exchanging no actual money whatsoever--does pretty much nothing happen? If prima nocte...somebody should have said something.

I'm assuming I have $400 left to bet. So here. It. Is.


400 231/232 over (Bears/Jets over 37.5)


fade away people, fade away. Let it shine wherever you go, let it make a happy glow, for all the world to see.

But you ought to know that I run a football pool every year with my friends, and last year I was in last place, and then I got the final 18 games(!) in a row right to win the regular season. This happened. It was super amazing. I have a spreadsheet.

Fine: Tease me, taunt me, snipe away from the comfort of your big glass houses, with all your room-temperature gold, and your "picks that come true," and your superciliousness, and your tote bags.

I just changed my mind. Wow--I'm sure! How could I have been so stupid? Homer, this is officially my new pick:

400 231/232 under (Bears/Jets under 37.5)

ship it in a tote bag, people.