[Doc T River]

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I wouldn't say that playing poker is "screwing up" my relationship or my course. I just said that I think I've been playing too frequently.

I imagine there are plenty of people on this forum who play poker more than I do - i mean we love the game, that's why we're here right? - so why do some of you think I should quit playing entirely?


Thanks for the replies.

I think taking time out is a good idea.

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Why do some people think you should stop playing? Well, look at what you called this thread. Look at how you said it is interfering (sorry, cannot spell the word you used originally so have to substitute one I can spell) with your studies and your love life.

I know what you mean about playing a lot because I went through the same thing. I disovered how much I liked poker during my first trip to Vegas about three years ago and when I got back home, I found out about free bar poker. I started playing when I could and that turned into seven days a week. My poker lifestyle crept into work (where I would talk poker with anyone who would listen) and my relationship. She was not happy that I was gone from home so much. Work was not too happy either as not everyone appreciated hearing my stories and I have a loud voice.

I played so much poker that for two years running, I was the league's top point earner for my state.

I don't play as much in bars for a number of reasons. One reason is that, in a manner of speaking, I had been to the top of the mountain twice and it was time for someone else to shoot for where I was and time for me to go on to other things. Those other things being online poker and a return to casino poker. But I don't play seven days a week online.

Admittedly, another reason I don't play as much in bars is that the league contracted in this area and there are not as many places to play and not as many sessions as in the past. But even if there were, my feelings of been there/done that would kick in.

I got lucky in my relationship because I got her interested in poker and nine times out of ten if I am sitting in a bar playing poker, she is right there playing at another table.

As to work, I realized they had a point and am much more circumspect as to who I talk to about poker.

I did not read these books before making my decision to cut back, but for the mental aspects of the game, might I recommend Your Worst Poker Enemy by Alan Schoonmaker. Besides the mental aspects, one thing I really liked was the recommended reading list at the back of the book. It breaks the list into the stages of a poker player and gives guidance as to a reading order within each section.

Another book I would recommend is The Poker Mindset by Ian Taylor and Matthew Hilger. Besides the mental aspects, it delves into more of the monetary aspects, too.

As to how I suggest you quit, let me tell you a little story first. I used to chew my fingernails when I was growing up. It got so bad that my mother bought a product that tasted really wretched whenever I tried chewing my fingernails. Did that make me stop? No, I got used to the taste and went on chewing. My mother tried several other products and techniques, but nothing worked.

Do I chew my nails to this day? No, I finally stopped. How? I decided to. In other words, I put my mind to the fact that I was going to stop and I did it.

What's the point? The point is that you can read all the books you want, you can get all the advice you want, but until you want to stop; until you make the decision to stop, you will continue with the same behavior. Short of being arrested for some crime and incarcerated resulting in an involunatary exile from the necessary components of your addiction, only you can make you stop. And it sounds like it is an addicition. It may not be as bad as alchohol or drugs, but it is an addiction nonetheless.

You may not want to admit it, but it does sound like you have a problem. I do not agree that you should get the sites to lock your accounts because that amounts to an involuntary exile and if you exile yourself, it needs to be voluntary. That is you need to be able to play if you so choose even though you plan on not playing for awhile. I would leave the accounts unlocked and simply resolve to not play or at least not play as much.

If you find that you cannot make yourself stay away from the sites, then have them lock your accounts, but give yourself a chance to do it voluntarily first.

I hope this guidance helps and sorry that I started rambling. I have a tendency to do that when I am tired.