[gumpzilla]

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Do I let her know that I know about the other guy? Or should I let her know I know there's another guy involved but maybe I don't know the specifics that I do? Yeah, these are the main questions I'm trying to figure out. Any other advice also appreciated.

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I'm a terrible person to talk to about the timing stuff, as I don't have much experience with those games. However, I can say that I see nothing good that will come of you telling her you know about the other guy. This will likely force her into a posture where she's either super defensive or feels like you're putting her to a decision, and given the state of things you'll probably not like the resulting outcomes. If the other guy really isn't bothering you for now, let it slide and see how things go. If they trail off naturally, so be it.