Re: Pregnant GF
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I felt all the same feelings you did when I found out my GF was pregnant. There was so much I hadn't done that I wanted to, then I looked at my son for the first time, and I realized that there is nothing better than spending time with your kids.
It's a confusing time, my GF got pregnant when we were both 18, we got married, and it's been very good for the last almost 9 years. IF you want to talk more privately I'll be more than willing to chat either on Yahoo messenger, PM's here, or I'll give you my phone number.
Your concerns are valid, but understand that you helped bring a child into this world, wether you planned to or not, and now you will have a responsibility to that child. Not just a financial responsibility, but a responsibility to love, and help care for, and set a good example for, and be a dad to. Whatever you decide, focus your energy into making sure your kid has the best life possible, do not let things get acrimonious with your GF (if you break up with her) and make sure your kid knows that he/she is #1 in your life.
Your GF is really emotional right now, and it wsounds like her family has gotten her to decide to have/keep the baby. Have you guys considered an adoption idea, where a family member/friend adopts the baby, so she can finish school, a family friend of mine did that (open adoption so she can see the kid, the kid thinks she is it's aunt) and was very happy with the decision.
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Most parents who offer their opinions say the same kind of thing. The child is the best thing that could ever happen to them, etc etc.
Honestly, the way I look at it, the fetus is not yet a child. It has the potential to become one if we decide to take the opportunity, but it is not a person yet. This does not need to be our only opportunity.
I truly believe that if this happened 3-5 years in the future - the child, my gf, and myself would all be happier, more fulfilled, and ready to become a family. Having a child now could very easily tear it all apart.
I have heard a lot of "This is your child, it is your responsibility to love/support/etc" this past week. My problem though, is that I still do not see it as a child. I see it as an opportunity that I do not yet want to take.
After the birth of a baby, I 100% agree that I am responsible for keeping it happy and healthy. But I want my child to have every opportunity possible when I bring him/her into this world. The risk of a broken household, a lifetime in a [censored]-hole town, and hell, the risk of fetal alcohol syndrome - these are not things I want to gamble on.
I wish I felt such an obligation as most people seem to. It would make this decision much easier. But in my mind, having this child would be a massive mistake.
Thanks for your input, and if the child is born, I hope I feel the same way as you a year from now. Until then, I am terrified.
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