[chopstick]

[ QUOTE ]

I have never cheated and do not believe that I ever would.

Having been cheated on, I believe that "once a cheater, always a cheater" is 100% true.

Someone that has cheated in the past, "has it in them" and while they may not be currently cheating, when the opportunity comes in the future, they will have to decide if to cheat or not, where as the non-cheater has no decision to make.

The decision itself is a form of cheating when you really think about it.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not really sure where to start here.

OK, I got it.

wtf.

Now that that's out of the way:

How does being cheated on create the once/always position? Because it happened multiple times? I'm curious how this makes sense to you.

What is "has it in them"? What is "it"? Some uncontrollable compulsion? When does "it" get in them, and how?

I want to address the "has no decision to make" and "the decision itself" arguments, but every time I start to write a response I feel like my brain is melting a little. It's like responding to a "Glutamate knits better catalytic converters than fireplaces do." statement. I just feel like I've been transplanted to some other universe where logic doesn't have any connection to reality. I'm guessing this is because the positions are emotionally-derived and driven, and poor old logic was pushed out of the car some number of miles back.

--

I've never cheated, nor do I think I ever would. I completely disagree with Bytor's arguments. People do change. It doesn't happen often, and it usually takes a significant life event (more often than not, with an extreme emotional component), but it's hardly impossible. I find that people that adhere to the once/always argument are usually either shortcutting behavioral analysis for their own purposes, or have some kind of emotional experience with the subject that affects their ability to approach it without bias.

And that's just regarding deliberate and/or non-compromised judgment cheating. The I-got-drunk-I-don't-believe-I-did-that cheating is a whole different ball of wax. While I do think people are responsible for their actions while under the influence of something that affects their judgment (assuming they voluntarily took it), that's still a completely different thing than the person who cheats because they are bored or want to get back at someone. The motivations do matter, especially when dealing with absolutist arguments like this one.