[Blarg]

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I know that who ever I choose to date is because she shows me the face I want to see the most. I can't see why her talking to other guys should offend me, because I know that there are things that she wants to see, but not from me. While hearing a guy talk immature and dirty may be funny to one girl, hearing it from her perfect mate isn't so appealing.

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Wow, your post was so interesting, especially the first line quoted, which is a kind of explosion of honesty. There's a lot about it that could be utterly damning, but there is interwoven a mature acknowledgment of one's own limitations and the compromises others, even perhaps those no more balanced or mature whatsoever, must make to accommodate it that is kind of breathtaking. I think there could easily be a fantastic thread on this idea itself, if people were honest and forthcoming. Which, on the other hand, it's highly unlikely anyone would be. I've tried to ask people for penetrating honesty in threads before, and those threads tend to be quickly buried and none too soon.

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I had a conversation with one of my exes about this. We both agreed that different people are going to have different relationships to each other. I can joke and have fun with certain people, and other's I cannot joke in these ways, but they are my friends. In my g.f., I see several qualities that I love and adore, but perhaps with her, there are things that I cannot say. Although I can reasonably expect her to have "all of me," I realistically cannot. Humans need to have various outlets. I could joke with one girl I know about being a [censored], but the other one would be deeply offended.


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Do you feel at all bad or threatened that some people can give her what you cannot, or will not? Have you ever felt in any way resentful that there are things others can provide her that you cannot?

I got a grin out of your saying what is reasonable is not necessarily realistic. True enough. We often have to deal with less than that.