[ChrisV]

I don't think the situation of wanting to believe but not being able to is that uncommon. I know several of the posters on this forum have been through it. I went through a period of fear of hell myself, but I was only a kid at the time. I suggest you reflect on the fact that the only reason your post isn't titled "Stuck Between Agnosticism and Islam" is your place of birth. If no amount of rational reflection fixes the problem, you might have underlying anxiety issues. There are therapists who specialise in fear of hell if it becomes a real problem. If there is a God and he is just and you live a moral life, there shouldn't be a problem anyway.