[brick]

I appreciate your advice not to go too hard on myself but I'm an idiot.
I had a big dream to come to LA and crush the easy games that everyone talks about. I took extended leave from work, took a month off poker, read another poker book, slept in like never before and then finally hit-up LA.

Problem was I has a decent bankroll but a severly lacking emotional bankroll. Also I was used to playing 20-40 in a very easy game with a small player base of very average players.

The LA games played differently because they are much more variable than what I was used to. There are many more players who call themselves "pros" and play long hours and probably win, there is a lot more NL hold'em so people tend to think longer about decisions, there is lot more 3-betting PF, ect.
I'd find games that were great one min and very average the next.

So I played 20 for a while, took a failed shot at 40, and settled into a routine only to find myself running really bad. Then I found myself getting confused by strange players, trying to adapt, and short on emotional bankroll.

I know everyone talks about having a such a huge edge in CA mid-stakes, but based on my experience, results, variance simulations, and critical thinking, I likely have less than a .5BB per hour edge.

Running a few simulates on Homer's steak simulator and it's easy to see that with a small winrate huge breakeven/losing streaks are likely.
http:// help_please1.tripod . com (no spaces the filter is screwing with this link)

After having seven (7) 20BB+ losing sessions in a row it's time to reevaluate. Yes, I've run bad before, know what it's like, and know what it takes to get through.

I was hoping that I had improved enough so that my edge would be greater and variance smaller but doesn't seem like that's the case.

cliff notes: play within your emotional bankroll