[John Ryan]

I play a spread limit dealers choice game (mostly O8) with this old guy, Al. Al's like 88 and completely senile. He honestly spends half the game asleep and mumbling about what happened in the 30s, no joke. He really is balls-deep, doesn't know what day it is, outside of his mind, crazy. He hates hold 'em. He says, "To play this game, you ain't gotta have a brain in your head, this is a damn dummy game."

Here's his strat though. Fold everything short of AKs, QQ, KK, AA pf, and pf, only raise AA, and the minimum at that.

Here's a hand I saw yesterday (sorry for no format, it's really just a story). 3 limps to him in the big blind, he exposes AdQd, mucks his blind violently and keeps muttering about how he hates the game. Flop AKT, two players bet and call. Turn J. Bet, raise, call. River J. As the guy with JT, looks at the guy mucking QT face up, while raking in the pot and says, "Man, I'm glad he didn't call w/ AQ, he would have made his straight!"

One of dealers open raised Al's bb once (single blind) from the button, and Al insta-folded QQ.

In a pot the other day, on a K42r board, all bet out in first position 1 dollar over the minimum. The table stops, basically unanimously states, "Al must have 3 kings," and no one can fold fast enough. Al cackles, mumbles to himself about the dummy game, and rolls over KK which he limped pf, as per norm.

Sorry about the tangent, but the comedy of this game forms around this guy. Every time he shows down a split hand, whether he scoops, takes half, or none of the pot, he cackles really loudly, and says in a parrot voice, "Oh, I shoulda had it all, shoulda had it all!"