[tuq]

Well these submissions are destined to be unique:

- Snuck me out of the house after my mother went to bed when I was ~8-10 to take me to nearby bars and play sit-down Pac-Man with him. He was really hooked on that game. I memorized the patterns up until the ninth key though so I was at least as good as he was.

- used to force me to play UNO, Backgammon, Master Mind, and other games with him when I was in the 10-12 age range. He often made me stay up until 2-3AM playing these games with him for his entertainment. Actually, I didn't consider that awesome at the time, but it's kinda funny after the fact. Also, whenever I beat him in UNO, which was often (yeah, Skip-UNO-out bitch!) he would declare a "Giant Game" and we had to play longer OR he would declare it was "an exhibition" and therefore didn't count.

- used to watch the Playboy Channel with me while we played said games. When a money shot was about to happen he would stop play and announce "hold on, cum scene".

- let me smoke cigars on the golf course with him when I was >5 years old. One specific time we played through a group and someone was overheard saying "that's a pretty good golfer for a midget".

- referred to the remote control for the TV as "the utensil". Usually in an authoritative manner, as in "give me the utensil".

- smoked pipe tobacco, mostly Borkum Riff. Very fragrant. He used an actual full-size flowerpot next to where he sat on the couch to empty it out. On more than one occasion he called the nearby grocery store and told them he was sending his son with a note to buy pipe tobacco. They sold it to me every time.

- once blew up a toilet at a hotel with an M-80. While trying to put it back together, he cut himself. Thinking fast, he called the lobby and told them the toilet broke and he got cut in the process...they hooked him up with the Presidential Suite for the rest of the trip.

- once leased a car and drove it around the country. Went way over on miles. Ended up jacking it up in reverse in our garage and backed about 80% of the miles off of it before turning it in. It took him weeks.