[Gonso]

B&M 2/5 NLHE table:

Hotshot wannabe internet poker noob is villian, 23 at the most. No sunglasses, but has the hat, weak moustache, and takes way too long to act. He's down 1 buy-in after getting stacked with TPGK vs a flopped flush. He calls everything and min raises and all kinds garbage like that.

He raises $15 from mid position (lol @ 3bb), button calls. Effective stacks ~$600. I make it $65 from the SB with two black aces.

Kid jams entire stack (lol), button insta-folds, I insta- call. He turns over a pair of tens, sees my aces, and starts whining about how "it figures" and so on.

Anyway, he's standing up and holding his hat as if he's about to be eliminated from the ME or something. Flops a ten, he starts pumping his fists and all that nonsense.

Turn comes a blank and I'm reaching for the wallet to rebuy when the river comes an ace. I re-check the hands and the board once or twice just to be certain I'd won.

Kid looks at me like I'm retarded, says "you see that [censored]?" to no one in particular. The entire table (who is generally annoyed since he talks too much and takes way too long) has this WTF kind of look about them.

Then I hear him muttering about me sucking out under his breath. I repeat it and ask what he's talking about, you know, seeing as he was a huge dog in the hand. He looks me square in the face and says:

"Yeah, if you knew anything about this game you'd realize that you just rivered the crap out of me. I wouldn't expect you to understand. I eat old donkeys like you for breakfast and yet todau I lose half my roll on two bad beats."

I also heard him refer to "Don" Harrington's books.