Engaged for July - suddenly not ready.
Hi OOT,
I don't really know where to begin with this. The short story:
I'm 26, and I'm engaged to get married with my girlfriend of two years next July. We moved in together pretty quickly, and have been living together for about a year and a half. There was no pressure to get married whatsoever, so it's not like she was pushing for a rock or anything. It just seemed like the natural move, and I felt great proposing.
I also recently started a new job. I work in a young, creative industry (it might be stupid, but I don't want to give too many details), and I've met a lot of very interesting people at this new job.
Just last week I became friendly with a girl at work, and I think now that I have a ridiculous crush on her, so much so that it's making me rethink this engagement. Basically, I'm starting to wonder: if I can have intense feelings, like real sparks, with someone that's not my fiancé, is my fiancé really the person I want to spend the rest of my life with? I love her, and we connect on so many levels, but I get this sinking feeling that maybe there's someone else out there...
OK, here's the sticky part. I've always been the type who wants whatever's on the other side. Whenever I'm in a relationship, I always wish I were dating, and vice versa. So I can't really tell if I feel like I'm sort of falling for this girl because I "can't" have her, or if I genuinely have feelings for her. The other thing is that I feel like she flirts with me, and we click on a lot of levels, but maybe she's just a flirtacious type.
I think I might get blasted for this sounding too much like a blog entry, but I guess I'm looking for feedback from people who've been in a similar situation. Is the fact that I might conceivably have feelings for someone else enough to call off an engagement? Or am I just idealizing what I can't have? We haven't planned anything yet for the wedding. What if I suggest waiting another year? [censored], I don't really know what to do now...
I've probably left out a lot of pertinent information in this post.
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