[TheFaucet]

Bear with me here, the descriptions may be a bit graphic.
So over the last week or so my piece has gotten swollen and the tip has turned from a healthy pink to a dull granite-like gray. It itches uncontrollably and the only way to relieve it is to run it under scalding water. I would characterize it as a throbbing, burning itch, like what you would expect from a poison ivy rash. It irritates me so much that it wakes me up at night. I dipped it in baby powder and also tried aloe vera cream but nothing seems to work. The last time I have had sex with a woman was in the future, so I don't think it's an STD. There is no discharge and I still have no problems getting hard. For some reason my nipples are swollen too. Maybe it has something to do with my allergies.
Right now it is burning so much I am thinking about dabbing some aftershave on it, I would do anything to get rid of this itch. If you're going to respond please be delicate, if you knew what I was going through you would not be laughing.