[adanthar]

You know how I know this one's real? It didn't involve a poker player

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This happened to a friend of mine, but it's a hilarious story that seems in the right mood, and since the whole thing is an anonymous exercise, who cares?

So J is in high school, where he is currently dating K, and has been for a couple of months. He's out on a date with her, having an early dinner, enjoying himself, and then is driving her back to her house. When he arrives back at her house, her mother is waiting for them and looks unhappy. Apparently, earlier in the day somebody had called to tell K that she had seen J having sex with another girl, S, at a party the previous night. Since K was out on the date, her little sister took the message. J sees the message when he gets to the house to drop his date off, because her mom is standing at the door holding a paper plate that says, written in sharpie, "K - J [censored] S last night." This is the entire message.

J is completely taken aback by this; of course he didn't do it. So, he says to pacify mom and date, "Okay, I'll tell you what. I have her number on my cell phone. I'll call her right now, and talk to her, and we'll straighten this all out." So, he calls up S, and his side of the conversation proceeds as follows: "Hey, S, how's it going? . . . Yes, it WAS some party last night. Actually, that's what I wanted to call you about. Apparently somebody told K that I had sex with you last night, and I thought you could tell them that we didn't . . . oh . . . wait, really? . . . man, I don't remember that at all. Um, okay, thanks." He then hangs up, stands around for a second or two, and then says "Well, I guess I'll be on my way." and just turns around and leaves.

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