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How far am I from "normal" defending numbers? Can you tell by these stats if I'm doing a decent job when I do defend?
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For small stakes, I think your defending numbers look fine. If anything, error on the side of caution here. You're not bleeding money in the blinds, so it looks like what you're doing is working.
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Is the majority of my low VPIP because of my low defense numbers? Or do I need to open up everywhere?
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Neither. You DO need to open up, but not everywhere. I would just say you need to really focus more on stealing from LP.
This should help you out a little with that.
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I've always been nitty. I don't know why. I'll never be a LAGTAG, but I'd like to get to some at least reasonable level, like 25/18 or something. I won long term at the Party 5/10 FR game as a 15/11, but I know I'll never make it to 5/10 6max by just playing tight and valuetowning fish.
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True, but you also will not get there overnight. I would suggest implementing small changes every so often. Focus on bringing your LP stats up first (as that is the easiest to fix), THEN start worrying about your blind defense play. You will still lose money in the blinds, but with solid play you will lose less.
Good luck!