[Scully]

[ QUOTE ]

Depression is a curious thing. It seems so normal when you're in it, as if this is your world.

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I agree with this for the most part.

The first time I ever experienced depression was after my daughter was born. Post partum depression. Thankfully only lasting a few weeks but profound depression. I had never really understood a lot about depression until I experienced it. It was not feeling down, it was a feeling of desperation. Hopeless. Everything was wonderful in my life, I could logically reason this but was still unable to get a handle on my emotions. I knew this was not normal but also knew that it was post partum depression and would seek help if it did not get better. It was just a matter of waiting it out. And it did get better.

After that resolved nothing like it for years. Then one day like someone flipped a switch it was back, just not as profound. This is where VR's statement is so true. It feels 'normal' when you are in it. Some days better than others, the depression exacerbated by things happening around you, but always there. This is where it took two years to acknowledge it and ask for help. When my family wanted to take me out for my birthday but I could not even get out of bed, I knew I needed to do more than live with it. This was no longer living.

The meds, when I found one that was right for me just made seemed to flip that switch off. I am not sure if that makes any sense. Like I said before I was able to get off of them for a while but could now recognize that I needed to start again. I am not sure that I will try to take myself off again.