[ChipWrecked]

When I was a kid we spent almost every Christmas at my maternal grandparents' farm in western Illinois. Our family and my mom's two sisters' families. It was [censored] great. From those days I consider my first cousins on that side close family.

Now that we're all grown and such the only times we've gotten together are at funerals (the dads are all dead now and of course the grandparents; my cousin and his wife live in their house and farm the family land which is now in a trust). We do the funeral and cry, then all get together and laugh and have a really great time. Then we feel kind of sad that we only get together anymore for funerals.

On my Dad's side, my cousins are virtual unknowns. I knew some of them as a kid; now they're just information on the internet. I have two half sisters through him whom I don't know well, though I have made some contact with the one who lives here in California since I've lived out here. She keeps her distance; I think she has some anger left over toward Dad's 'second family' and I understand. I don't press her.

I've done some research and have found quite a bit of information on my Dad's side. Other, unknown to me, members of Mom's side have researched the family tree back to the 1500's. It's amazing to ponder how many relatives one has that one knows nothing about.

My wife's side is a little more what I suppose is the typical family. They fight, they're petty, they hold grudges, a few of them are just miserable people. Oddly, they have a lot of money as well. Live in west L.A. and such.

I find it interesting in a clinical way that a person can live in a penthouse on the beach in Santa Monica and still be [censored] wretched. On a more personal level, while I get along with them OK, I don't particularly look forward to being around them. When we're down there I pretty much stay half drunk around the clock; and I'm not much of a drinker except for those times.

My mom and my sister don't care for my wife and she returns the feeling. My wife and my mom don't speak to each other unless they absolutely have to.

On the flip side, I get along with her mom as best I can but I find her the most despicable [censored] I've ever met. She's coming to town over the weekend and back to L.A. for Thanksgiving. I'm getting a head start on dreading it. She is civil to my face but word gets back to me about the huge step down she considers her daughter made marrying me. Oh well.

So, I guess for me it's a wash. My family (Mom's side): pretty tight, we like each other's company very much. Wife's family: puts the 'fun' in 'dysfunctional'.

Oh yeah. My wife's parents are long divorced. I never thought about it before I got married, but when you marry someone with divorced and remarried parents, you get two sets of in-laws [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]