Re: To speak or not to speak, that is the question
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The problem I see with this is that the player involved in the hand can not always speak up to protect his rights. ... I can ignore the fact that she strung raised and fold my cards. Or I can bring to the dealers attention that she sring raised. But if I do that I am telling her that I don;t think my hand is any good here and that information may hurt me on the river.
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This is a really good point.
In your spot, was the string raise an angle or do you think she was just careless? If it was not an angle, it seems reasonable to let it stand (she's not gaining an "unfair" advantage in some sense) but say something after the hand like, "Just so you know, you're really not supposed to do that, I know this wasn't your intention but here's why it's illegal..."
As for the OP, in story 1 I speak up for sure; it's a valuable rules clarification for the future as well. In story 2 there's nothing you can do to make them bet, but after the hand I'd explain in a non-aggressive manner that what they did wasn't really okay.
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