[Supwithbates]

I'm posting this for a friend, so I don't care if I'm anonymous.

Back when we were both seniors in high school, he was with his girlfriend in her parents' house (she wasn't supposed to have boys over when they weren't home.) He persuaded her to let him get some anal, and he [censored] her in the ass on top of her dad's expensive white leather sofa. She was a virgin and apparently he was too rough because she had explosive diarrhea all over the couch. They quickly hopped into the shower to clean up, but her father came home before they could clean up the couch. The saw the couch, looked at the dog, and yelled "what the HELL?! YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO GET ON THIS COUCH". He then proceeded to take the dog into the front yard and beat the dog to death.

My friend now refers to that dog as "the dog that saved my life."