[SoloAJ]

More abrupt in what manner? Having the closing revelation be that he was deaf and ending it there?

The two worries I have with your recommended ending spot are such: (1) The prompt for the contest is about a fortune cookie. The current ending really involves the fortune cookie in the story. (2) It loses some of its sappiness that I think some people (not most) would attach to a little bit. The idea that the deaf man is getting such great pride from his baby's first words that it reminds his wife of the birth. Shrug.

I know this needs more refining, but I'm getting there dangit!