[Anacardo]

--I hear you're a stalker

Absolutely, 100 percent not the case. I'm somewhat goofy/quirky to start. I've been under an enormous amount of emotional stress pretty much nonstop the last two years, which may or may not have triggered a latent family tendency towards mental illness, specifically bipolar disorder. I really don't know, I need to get that checked out. What I am NOT is a bad person, a liar, or someone who has done anything wrong. I am intensely proud of my character.




--I hear you and misskitty were almost going to date and then she moved on and you started superstalking, sending her texts all the time and professing your undying love for her in vegas. I hear you said you were going to move to Texas to be with her and she said you were creeping her out.

Entirely untrue! We met previously, she was way into me, I wasn't as into her at the time, I was completely honest about this, she wanted to keep rolling with me / drive up to Vegas together, I started digging her, she flipped out one afternoon (presumably when she met Oreo) and went into total shutdown mode for reasons that completely escaped me at the time, I tried to let her know that I was into her, she "suspected a ploy for more sex (?)," started completely blowing me off, and apparently told the entire state of Minnesota, among other people, that my confused/irritated messages was "crazy stalking," when in fact she was just pulling a total 180 to go hook up with somebody else, the way girls do, and then rewriting history to make me look like a total crazy [censored].

Well, I'm not, and it's not true, so to the small city of people she's told about this [censored]: Revise your opinions.

I hear other guys in vegas during that trip also thought you were kind of creepy.

Probably seems that way when all you hear is her side. Besides, many of those guys are not exactly known for their capacity to judge character.


I hear you're sad now about this, and I hear you use punctuation way too [censored] much. I heard you have one testicle.

If by sad you mean "my head is going to [censored] burst," then yes. I love the English language. I'm two-balling.