[Fast Food Knight]

Great thread.

My dad immigrated to the US when he was around 22. He didn't understand a lot about our customs, best examples being:

1) he gets pulled over for drinking a beer while driving. Asks the officer why he is being pulled over, in genuine confusion. The office points to the beer. Dad says "OH! You want one? (offers beer)" To his surprise he gets arrested! Oops.

2) My dad loved hunting and nature in general and one day saw a skunk. Apparently skunks look different in Europe than they do here, so he was very intrigued by this "animal" and wanted to check it out. So he somehow incapacitates it and puts it in his trunk. Next stop was a convenience store, his (first) wife goes in, he sees people pointing at her and covering their noses. He said the smell never left the trunk of the car.

3) Dad hits a deer on the highway. The deer falls into some liberal, animal-loving dude's yard. The guy comes out of his house, freaking out about the poor, injured deer. My dad thinks quickly and tells the guy "I'm a medical doctor. I know an excellent vet that I'm going to take this animal to right away. Help me load him in my van - if we hurry we can probably save his life." Dad drives home, deer dies, he slaughters it in the garage and we eat on that thing for a year. It was delicious.

4) He made a habit of procuring horribly profane and offensive bumper stickers. Then, for kicks, he would randomly stick them on unsuspecting people's cars in the parking lot where he worked at the mental health center.