[Under dog]

Ok so here goes with another story, no advice or that needed just a funny story. Heres hopin i can tell it right.


I havent typo checked or nothign but sure read anyway and see if ya have a laugh


Ok so one night im out and about in my hometown, me and some mates head out to a club where i end up hookin up with an English girl. She wasnt that hot , i was just drunkenly hovering to anything going. We leave the club together and the drunk side of me suggested we swap names and numbers (encase i is stuck some night- as i know i will be!) Her last name is Reynolds and I go off on one sayin I hope your not related to the guy that owns the night club as he is on my top 10 hater list. His father used to be the Head of the Irish government and hes a complete monopolising tool. He bought out local nightclubs (cause hes super rich) and just left them vacant so as there would be no other clubs in town. ALso just in general hes a douche. She laughs it off sayin She wishes she was related to him.

So we head up town where i then bump into a girl i havent seen in about 7 or 8 years. We used to both play alot of basketball for a long time and got together once or twice years ago. She used to have a nice body and pretty face but my god she put on alot of weight. I dont mean ok shes carryin a bit more, I mean she was BIG. I couldnt believe it. At first I didnt recognise her, it took me a good minute or two to realise. I asked her whats she doing these days and she said she was working in the Hotel part of the nightclub that Reynolds guy runs. I was WTF mandy how can you work for that slave driving souless underpayin tard. Shame on you. She laughed it off and said we have to meet up and catch up sometime.

The English girl was urgin me to hurry up so i turned to Mandy (the big girl) said ok heres my number and called it out, she phoned mine and so i had hers but i didnt store it.

Me and the english girl headed off in to the night and later i said do you want my number and she said its okk i got it when you gave it to that girl Mandy. I said alright sure gives a shout sometime and i headed off to find my mates.

The next morning I had a picture message of "James Reynolds is a scumbag" written on a roadsign and the text said "Thought you would like this, just seen someone done this in town...was it you haha XxX"

I lol'd and wrote back no, how ya gettin on I is dyin etc etc. She started sayin bit rough but will be ok, nice meetin you and hope to see ya again soon xxx

I stored it away as a "if is stuck..DO IT" number and got on with me day. Over the next few days the english girl kept textin and then the flirting got bit nuts, turned in to text sex and TBH put her up a notch or 2 in my head. They got fairly heated and I was like dammmm i shoulda went home with her that night.

There was a big weekend planned with my mates in a few days time but as the texts kept comin in i was startin to doubt id be going anywhere. So friday came and she said ok lets do it,im finshed work at half 5, wanna meet me at the train station around 6....LDO yeh cool, at the time i was living with my parents but they were away for the weekend so all was good

I headed down to the Train station few mins early just to get a parkin place. Its a very small station so its easy to see people comin off the one train that stops at a time. I didnt know where the english girl lived but i assumed she needed to get a train to get here.

So as i pulled into the station I thought to myself "Oh hey theres Mandy!" Then she saw me and she waved, i waved back...ah ok shes comin over to say hi, hope the english girl doesnt come at the same time cause i dont want mandy to come for a drink with us or what ever...so she starts walkin over and i start winding down the window to chat to her but why is she going to the other side of the car....ok ok calm down heart CALM DOWN I SAID....why is she opening the FU**ING door, ok shes big she obv just needs to sit down....."Hey hunny" she says and my world sinks!!

oh sweet mother of god the things i said to this girl all week...WTF SHES LEANIN OVER TO ME>>>>WHAT DO I DO!!

Ah ok the french kiss of the cheek, so thats why that was invented, always thought it was fishy....ok ok do i drive to a hospital, no ill never make it alive

Once she closed the door i knew my life had just been altered in a dark way. Ok I dont have a lot of time but theres no way im bringing her back to my parents house and doing anything we spoke of..i mean thats just filthy

I couldnt stop thinkin of my friends all driving off for the weeken with devilish smiles of excitment while i was stuck in a cell of terror

We drove around the first corner and hit traffic. I glanced over to see she was all dressed up. I couldnt heplp but picture her askin her mother how she looked and maybe trued on a few outfits. I was going to hell and i knew it

The traiffc movedd on slowly but i was happy, it gave me more time to think, then we got to a junction where she lived left and my house was right.

I just pulled over, told my mind to shut up and said Mandy i thought you were someone else, I assumed you were the English girl cause i was giving here grief bout that Reynolds guy too and with the kisses in the texts the next day i just assumed it was her

She died a little and just kept sayin Oh My God over and over and over. I didnt know whether tp punch myself in the face or say im sorry again so i just sat there feelin about as awkward as Stephen Hawking in the middle of a rave!

Finally i said Do you want me to frop you home and she said no its ok ill get out and walk from here. She got out and started walkin and i sat there numb

WTF just happened....I drove like a maniac to where all my friends were and everyone was like HEEEYYYYY Whassup, i just said sit down and listen

All i heard all weekend was "Oohh Mandy you came and you got your heart broken lalalalalalala" all f**kin weekend

I still bump into her now and again! Poor lass