Re: My Hooker Story
[ QUOTE ]
Full of crap
-britspin
[/ QUOTE ]
If you consider what I wrote "nitpicking", then obviously you're retarded. Buy a grammar book, then read the hundred mistakes he made. That's nitpicking. I wrote about things that took away from the story.
[ QUOTE ]
Extra detail is not a bad thing in writing.
[/ QUOTE ]
Here's a quote from "Moon Tiger" that I think explains this idea very well.
[ QUOTE ]
There was a spaniel on board the Mayflower. This little dog, once, was chased by wolves not far from the plantation and ran to crouch between its master's legs 'for succour' ... What I found remarkable about this animal is that I should know of its existence at all, that its unimportant passage through time should be recorded. It becomes one of those vital inessentials that convince one that history is true.
[/ QUOTE ]
Now, reread what he wrote about clothes, talking to some girl about poker and money etc. They're not essiental in any way. They TAKE from the story, which is a huge fault. He didn't write details, he wrote dumb ramblings. If you want to argue this, you're a moron.
[ QUOTE ]
Man goes to vegas to attend pick up academy, than fails to sleep with hooker?
[/ QUOTE ]
Maybe. If he focused on the irony of it, it's good. If he wrote it where I could see the climax without distracting crap, it would be great (to you).
Read more kid. This isn't about me not understanding humor, this is about poor presentation.
[ QUOTE ]
I'll stop now, because your critique was so woeful it hurts me to go further.
[/ QUOTE ]
Maybe you take another step and stop breathing.
|