Re: My Hooker Story
[ QUOTE ]
While seniority will always be held in favorable light, in this case it doesn't matter. Is it better than most on this board? It shouldn't matter, the best of the worst doesn't make it good. If you disagree with any critique I have, let me know.
[/ QUOTE ]
OK,. I disagree with your critique because you are clearly a nitpicking idiot with all the charm and good humour of an anally violated grizzly bear.
You have a massively overinflated sense of your own brilliance as a literary critic. Let me explain a few small things to you.
1. Extra detail is not a bad thing in writing. This is because first person description can build the readers understanding of both setting and the narrative voice of the author. Would rainman write differently to tarzan or einstein? Of course. Is Proust's descriptiveness of a biscuit kind of important to his story, yeah, kinda.
If you can make it interesting, can use it to build atmosphere or to develop character you can go on for pages about the smallest detail.
2. You don't seem to understand humour, only exposition. Man goes to Vegas to pick up hookers and fails- that could be funny. Man goes to vegas to attend pick up academy, than fails to sleep with hooker? Hilarious.
3. Two words. Unreliable Narrator.
I'll stop now, because your critique was so woeful it hurts me to go further.
|