[john kane]

thanks a lot for your thoughts.

firstly i must add i have had an incredible last 5 years (gap year going to oz with a couple of school friends, then 4 years at uni which were so much fun).

the last 3 years i have basically done 3 things:

a) gone out with friends, primarily to the pub. play playstation, watch tv etc.
b) play poker
c) pass exams to get my degree

that's pretty much it. playing poker was to make money, which meant i could go out as often as i wanted to do whatever i wanted, was a great setup. exams required 3 weeks of cramming, missed lectures all the rest of the time. everything was sorted.

but now for a) most of my friends now have jobs (as do i now) so that only leaves the weekend. ill go out either friday or saturday becuase i dont want to spend my entire weekend hungover.

so i guess my reason for making a lot of money, so that i could be financially comfortable (i.e. enough not to worry about spending small amounts of money) so i could go out and party, go to a strip joint and stay in a hotel etc and not worry about money has now gone.

so why am i still bothering? now i have no real reason to make $$ i guess it's become a sense of just making $$ for the sake of it. and it's very hard to shake off, becuase what i've spent 80% of my sober free time the last few years has been playing poker. but now it's gone from an hourly rate of $100/hr or so, enough to pay off my student loan, to now $250/hr, which is a pretty decent amount. and given i am concerned the future of online poker won't always be so profitable (in msnl terms) part of me thinks i really should spend my time still playing to make $$ as i may regret it later.

ill stop rambling now, but it's hard for me to go from 3 years of making money during some of my days so i could pay off debts, go out and never worry about money, to now have a much higher hourly rate, and no longer need to make money in terms of having enough not to worry about spending.