[Mark Ortega]

When I was in fifth grade, I brought alcohol to school.

I didn't realize how dumb it was at the time. I saw my aunt put it in a water bottle one time when she took me somewhere and then I thought it was a cool thing adults did. So I emptied my dad's Corona into a water bottle, took it to school, and convinced two kids we should get drunk. Me and one kid spit it out anytime it touched our mouths. The other kid swallowed a tiny bit then went completely [censored] nuts and started stripping and then pretended like he was drunk and yelled it out loud.

I got a 3 day suspension. I lived a block away from school and both my parents worked so they told me to walk home. Instead I walked to a friend's house who was sick that day and stayed their that night. Everyone that I know is convinced that I slept in some treehouse I found on a trail, but that isn't true at all.

Not a very captivating story I guess, I got better ones, but this one popped into my head.