[ElSapo]

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But these are not necessarily blanket bad reasons. Lots of people might find these perfectly acceptable under some circumstances.

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GAH. THIS IS THE EXACT POINT I'M TRYING TO MAKE. Why does our society think this line of rationale is acceptable? It is my contention that having sex for these "bad reasons" is detrimental to one's overall happiness and well-being. Seeking validation from someone who knows very little about you can wreak havoc on one's overall psyche.

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What we're really talking about here is probably not sex, but self awareness. Why we do -many- of the things we do, not just why we screw who we do.

Which doesn't really make your statement wrong, only incomplete, I think. Isn't all of this the basis for therapy in general? Working out the underlying reasons we make any of the choices we do?

I've always believed that as long as you understood your choices - where they come from, their implications on yourself and others - as long as we're honest with ourselves, the idea of "bad choices" becomes a little, well, less so.

Granted, that's a high bar. But real self examination and honesty are good goals to set, in all endeavors and not just sex.

The question, I suppose, is whether (assuming some of this is correct) recognizing a supposed "bad reason" makes it less bad. Is it still a crappy idea to do what you're going to do, or does it fundamentally change if you're no longer pulling the wool over your own eyes?

I get the sense that your initial post was made with a specific theory in mind - something close to the post I made earlier, maybe. And while the reason I gave is probably true for some people (and hell, might even be true for me), it's only one reason.