[hitch1978]

I am 29y/o.

I feel like I am near death, this feeling comes from my awareness of infinity, and the relation of my finite existence to it.

I also make this same relation to the life of my son and daughter who are combined aged <3.

I believe that when I die there is nothing. I also believe that the same is true for anyone I care about, and who cares about me.

The combination above seriously depresses me. I fear death, and I think about it several times daily, with increasing regularity to the point where it is starting to become a problem.

I am developing an alcohol dependancy that interests me, as it both helps me deal with the issue, while also bringing it forward due to the physical effects of consumption.

In short I am ferociously embracing a lifestyle that will reduce the exposure to the pain I currently feel.

I know I have no right to ask for advice/help under such terms, I just thought it would make for an interesting discussion amongst you that I may gain from. Nothing would please me more than finding a 'solution', and that is obviously my motive, but I am not sure that my condition is cureable.