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Old 11-21-2007, 12:39 PM
Syberduh Syberduh is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 166
Default Re: Grotesquely nerdy theatre geekery for DBZ

Yes that is a deliberate break in both the meter and the rhyme scheme to emphasize the difficulty of parsing meaning and the impact of sturm and drang.

As for the other one, switch "often" and "is" for a more enjoyable experience.

Other flaws include the emphasis landing on the 2nd syllable of Stoppard in line 3

I also find it almost impossible to spit out "text is" in line 4 without altering the meter.

And of course the rhyme scheme is not exactly subtle.
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