Re: Always starting out behind...
Been there, I play 2/5 and 5/10 NL and tend to always have to top off or fully rebuy.
A large portion of this for me is just varience - I get my money in a good situation and lose. But because I haven't built a cushion, my stack is under the buyin amount.
Think of it this way (I'll use a $200 max. buyin game as the example).
I lose a hand early for $100. I rebuy because I want to have the chips on the table. I then go and win $500 racking up $700. Profit $400.
I win a few hands early, getting my stack up to $700. I lose a hand and am at $600 and rack up for the night. Profit $400.
I win a nice pot early getting up to $400. I lose the same pot, so I'm at $300. I then go and win another $300 and cash out for $600. Profit $400.
It's just a matter of which order the hands happen in that determines if you rebuy or just lose profit from your stack.
Secondarily, you may be playing a bit too loose and gambling in the beginning. I have this problem if I am impatient to start a session. I've gotten better at it, but its still there. The trick is to recognize it and find some way inside yourself to stop it.
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