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One of the more interesting excuses I've heard for putting on weight:
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Women are becoming fatter - maybe there is a deep-rooted reason for this. Too many rapists out there, illegal criminals let out of prison, rape law against women in favour of men, one of the reasons why I put on weight, for protection.
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http://newsforums.bbc.co.uk/nol/thre...20071116001141
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"I'm fat because I don't want to get raped!!!"
Wow...I'm speechless.