[buriedbeds]

Incidentally, in my incredibly-long-winded OP, I forgot to mention how I honestly think that I couldn't have done this without poker. While I know that "poker as life" analogies are generally trite, annoying and corny, I do feel that there's a parallel in the skill set I use playing cards to the one I use losing weight. This thread's kind of my way of giving back for that, as well as for turning me on to kettlebells and to hopefully shed some light on a somewhat taboo topic of what it's like to be super-morbidly obese, and to lose that weight.

When you're losing weight - especially when you have a lot to lose and it's taking a long time - your body often does not comply on any given day. Sometimes you'll gain a couple of pounds for no discernible reason, or drop a bunch suddenly when you weren't doing anything out of the ordinary. This is just the way it is - your body tries to hold on to weight as a survival method, then gets convinced it's okay and lets it go. But all the while, you need to stay on course. For this reason, the idea of avoiding Results-Oriented Thinkind (ROT) is, imo, INCREDIBLY valuable in losing weight. Here's (a somewhat changed version of) something I wrote about the topic on my other board. Keep in mind that it was targeted towards people who don't play...don't feel talked down to or anything [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] :

[ QUOTE ]
On a day-to-day basis in losing weight, I leave the results up to the fates. I've often wished I was religious to be able to feel that way, to have the whole "leave it up to god" idea. I'm not, however - I just gambled my way to enlightenment. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

In poker, you have to learn how to avoid what's called Results-Oriented Thinking, or ROT. In any given hand of poker, you have no control over the cards. The only thing that you can judge yourself by is whether or not you got your money in good. The cards will come as they come - people will hit river flushes against your set of aces, people will draw out to incredibly-unlikely miracle cards that crush your huge hands just because they were stupid and didn't fold.

Now, you can sit around and get angry, or you can look at what you did and determine whether or not what you did was correct. Did I raise with the best hand? Did I fold when I more-than-likely was beaten? Did I call a bet drawing to a flush that I should have because there was so much money in the pot that I had the right odds? These are mathematical truths, not opinions. Whether you won or lost - you didn't control that. That came as it came. A person can hit a 22-to-1 shot 10 times in a row on you. You just have to have faith that over the long-haul it's going to even out and you're going to win. You can't BUT win. You just have to stick around long enough so that you beat your opponent the 220 times straight that it takes to bring things back to equilibrium.

When you're playing and you DO get beaten by those long shots over and over again, you can get angry. Angry at the fates for doing this to you, angry at the idiot who kept winning despite playing horribly, angry at yourself for even playing this stupid game. But that anger is misplaced, and, ultimately, self-destructive.

Getting angry at the fates? Worthless. Try being upset with luck. It does you no good.

Upset with the other person? You WANT them to play badly - that's how you make money.

Upset with yourself for even playing? That's stupid. You put yourself in a position to be profitable, it just didn't work out. You can start questioning yourself and start playing horribly - trying for those miracle cards yourself - because they did it to you. You can just give up. Either way, it hurts YOU to do it. When you start doing things that don't match what you KNOW is correct, you're giving up money. When you don't play in a game you know you can beat, you're passing up free money.

Now, the same thing is true of our bodies, in my opinion.

I've been doing this long enough now to know that on any given day I'll be up or down for no discernible reason. Yesterday I was down - today I'm up. The swing both ways was big. But why? Imo, it's a given day's luck.

Just like in poker, I control what I know I can control, and I trust that what I'm doing WILL pay off over the long term. It can't BUT pay off. I know it for a fact. Now if I'm NOT doing what I KNOW I should do - then I have cause for alarm, cause to be upset with myself. But if I am doing what I know is correct and things aren't going the way I'd like - again - I can get angry. Angry at the fates for putting me in this boat, where it's not coming off as I'd like or where I'm even retracing some weight for reasons I don't understand. Angry at other people whose achievements I admire, who managed to lose weight while doing things that I KNOW won't work for me - like eating low-fat, high-carb, or, worse yet, people who can eat anything and never gain a pound. Angry at myself for even trying when I'm just going to fail.

But, again, that anger is misplaced.

Angry at your luck? Good luck WILLING that to change. Sometimes you just have to wait it out.

Angry at other people? You can't control that someone else's results are different than yours. We're all different. You can't mimic their actions because you KNOW that you're not them. Maybe that's not fair. It doesn't have to be.

Angry at yourself? Now you're apt to destroy everything you've worked for. You can get upset and just quit. You can start, our of that anger and desperation, to do things that are self-destructive and ultimately counterproductive. For instance, starving myself might drop a few shock lbs off my frame, but it ultimately leads me to stall. I've seen more people wrecked by "carb-up" days that they tried in desperation to get the weight loss started again than I've seen helped by them. If I tried that, I'd likely fall into the abyss because my body is just not good with sugar and carbs. The list of potential failures caused by getting angry and losing faith in what you're doing is nearly endless.

So I don't get angry. Maybe I shrug, or I allow myself a few minutes to wallow, but I DON'T let it freak me out. I do what I know I have to do, and if I regain, I regain. It WILL come off.

[/ QUOTE ]