[The Mayo]

I work for UPS. I could get your package for you. But I'm not going to.
























LOL no one can get their package before the third delivery attempt.

UPS Pro Tip: Tell the sender you want a "shipper release." Then the driver will leave it at your door. But you're SOL if your neighbors steal it.

While I was typing this, one of those UPS whiteboard commercials came on. True story.