As I was posting my response to the "how do I get diarrhea?" thread, cackling with humanitarian glee at my unmatched ability to offer successful advice about inducing diarrhea, I had an incident.
I work in an office. Or at least, I sit in an office. I also fart a lot, mostly because I drink red bull and mountain dew constantly. Some bitchy little twig of a crackhead mom and her nasty, poo-stained daughter wandered in. Right away I can tell this is gonna be trouble.
Mom: "My daughter needs to use the bathroom"
Me: "Sorry, this is an office, you're going to have to find a bathroom someplace else."
Mom: "I don't f'in care, my daughter needs a bathroom!!!!"
Me: (I stand up, turn around and fart right on her daughter's face)
Mom: "WTF LET ME SEE YOUR MANAGER!!!!!"
At this point I decided that the situation had gone far enough. I took a few steps back (to get a running start) and muff-punted this bitch all out into traffic, where some busted-ass jalopy with rims driven by a hood-rat in a doo-rag ran her stupid ass over. BOOM HEADSHOT! Then her daughter started to cry, so I sharted on her face, then drop-muff-punted her through the plate-glass window of the place across the street, which happens to sell knives and gasoline. Once she was cut up and soaked in gasoline, I lit my lighter, held it to my ass, and farted a massive fireball, englufing her in flames.
edit: I forgot the rest of the story, because I was busy making sweet love to her:
I pwn