[mbillie1]

A serious solution, since this thread offers no useful advice so far.

mbillie1's diarrhea recipe: 100% full proof

1) night before test, at approximately 6 pm, eat the following taco bell menu items: chicken fiesta burrito, cheesy fiesta potatos, 2x nachos with cheese, 2x beef soft tacos

2) at approximately 8 pm that same night, consume the following: 4x 12oz bottles of guinness, followed by 4x bottles of corona, followed by 2x shots of tequila, 2x shots of jameson (or soco/lime), 2x shots of dr mcguillicutty, then 2x dos equis amber

3) at approximately 1-5 am, depending on how fuct you are, order a large thin crust dominos pizza with pepperoni, onion, green peppers and olives. mix ranch dressing with frank's red hot hot sauce, dip pizza in this sauce

4) at 5-6 am, drink 3-4 cans/bottles of bud light, as it's the only crap beer you can find in your fridge (arrange for this beforehand; anticipation is the key to ensuring a successful bout of diarrhea)

5) masturbate furiously watching disgusting fetish porn before sleep.

6) wake up at 10-11 am, go DIRECTLY to doctor. don't piss when you wake up, as it's very probable that poo will just fall out at the slightest sensation of waste release

7) smoke 2-3 cigarettes on the way over, drink a red bull and a 20oz mountain dew

8) voila: diarrhea the likes of which thou hast never known before