[NT!]

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The OP's wife is a horrible wife.

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This isn't a fair statement. It's incredibly challenging to take in a couple of teenagers who have just gone through a very traumatic experience, who may have major behavioral and social setbacks associated with being maltreated or neglected, and with whom you have little prior relationship. It's even harder with teenagers because of their developmental status and their need to explore their own identities. It's even HARDER when you've never been a parent yourself and don't even want children of your own.

She probably feels that there are other relatives who would be just as able to care for at least one of these boys - why don't they? The rest of the mother's own blood family has shunned her, it's basically them taking on the biggest burden. She may feel that the system is unresponsive and others are shirking their responsibilities. She may be worried that if she is doing a poor job with the boys, it's just as bad as putting them in foster care, maybe worse. And most of all, she probably feels cheated because this is not the life she agreed to when she got married. It's a partnership, both people enter it with certain needs and goals. This isn't her family and these aren't her kids. What's more, the person to whom she made the big commitment - her husband - knew all this going in.

Without knowing her and knowing more of the situation it's totally unfair to attack her.

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Yes, MUCH better to end up alone with no wife - and KNOW you did the right thing by the kids - than to send them away to a horrible fate of foster care.

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Statistically speaking, the change in the level of risk to these children increased much MORE when they were placed in foster care - even kinship care - than it would if they were moved from kinship to regular foster care or a group home. My instinct is to favor kinship care because it's the more desirable of the two options, but the truth is also that the big blow to these kids was when their mom couldn't take care of them anymore. If OP and his wife really can't provide a stable home for the boys, they need to go somewhere else.

I hope that's not the case, OP, but if it is, you still have an opportunity to make some plans and play a helping role in these boys' lives.